Last week my lovely new nephew decided to get suspended from school again 3rd time lucky, i think not. The 3 times in as many weeks.
Everyone was at work accept me as i am still waiting to start my job. Good old uncle Ed.
Well it has long been my belief that the family has been mothering the child far too much and goes down the “how do you feel’ route rather than putting a negative action on his bad behavior.
As mentioned before in a previous blog i have spent sometime as an Army Officer in the British Army. When someone is naughty you do not physically beat them, you drill them.
His Farther called and asked me to take him for the rest of the day, i said i would as long as i could do it my way and i would make sure he doesn’t get suspended again. I ended the conversation with ‘dont worry it wont be physically upsetting for him, it will be mental’.
At this point i feel his farther is at his wit’s end and doesn’t know what to do, my time to shine!
I picked him up from school as arranged. Marched him up to the car and told him to get in. Then for the rest of the trip i allowed him to sit in silence.
He remarked that this was not the way home, and i told him he was correct and that he was going somewhere else as he had been naughty.
I should point out that this child is highly intelligent and 8 years old, i digress.
I could see him getting nervous, i had never picked him up from school and so i guess he was wondering what the hell was happening.
We got to our house and marched him into the dining room, pulled out a dining chair and told him to sit down, face forward and put his hands on him knees, fists clenched. (it’s all in the detail and this gives you something to complain about if they don’t do it correctly).
I made him sit up straight and face forward for 30 or so minutes while i gave him a lecture about being naughty, and then asked him about consequences. I explained that for everything you do there is a consequence, this could be good or bad. If your naughty, you always get a bad consequence. From now on if he’s naughty he will have to come to see uncle Ed.
I then proceed to hand him a cloth and a spray cleaner, and told him to clean the bathroom, then all the cupboards in the kitchen, then every door knob in the house.
I then proceed to take him outside and told him to pick up every leaf on the concrete. Once this was completed i told him that we would have lunch, which we did, i showed him that once he had completed a task as asked (like the teacher does) he would get a reward and something he wanted.
I then decided to do a school lesson, maths, reading, and writing. The math was a breeze. The reading book was a lesson for me as it was my book and i find it hard to read, he breezed through it, but did find it boring. All the time i reminded him that this was a consequence of being naughty at school and that if school was better than this then he should be good so he doesn’t have to come back.
When we got to the writing part i set the topic of ‘Why i don’t like school’. He would not write, i changed the subject to ‘Why i am naughty at school’. Nothing!. Ok how about ‘Why i like my teacher more than i like uncle Ed’. Still NOTHING!.
OK, i explained that when a teacher asked him to do something he had to do it, as they are trying to help him. I then explain consequences again and told him that he had a choice, either he writes or he picks up leaves. This was explained several times to make sure that he knew he had a choice. He told me there was no leaves left and that he didn’t want to write. SO, i emptied the bags of leaves and told him to pick them up.
After an hour, he started complaining that he wanted to go for a walk. i said we would if he finished the leaves. Again reminding him of the consequences for good and bad behavior.
We went for a walk as promised but during the walk he pushed the limit after i had told him not to run out of my sight. He did this and the second time i showed me sadness and told him the consequence was that he had to sit still on a chair until his farther came. This lasted over one hour. i made him face a wall on a chair and monitored his posture to make sure he found it totally uncomfortable.
As always i made sure he understood that school is a better place to be. We concluded the day when his farther came. I told him everything we had done, and then spoke to the little monster about how this was because he was naughty and next time i see him fun uncle Ed will be back, unless he is NAUGHTY!!
3 weeks later and he’s not had a bad day at school since, and he still likes me!
As ever comment as much as you like, but keep it constructive.